Halloween Oreos

Photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/mariecannabis/67089754/

Tonight at Hy-Vee, while out trying to get last minute groceries for the week, I saw a display of Halloween Oreos. Typically, seeing this would give me an instant craving for Oreos and milk and I would undoubtedly purchase a package and devour them with Doug. Tonight, I did not purchase but a wave of emotions came over me. Halloween Oreos now remind me of Jani. They remind me of being pregnant, of eating them with a glass of milk just to get her to go crazy in my tummy and kick me...to reassure me she was doing just fine in there. Thinking of this reminded me of where we were two years ago, undergoing fertility tests to figure out what the heck was going on with me. It reminded me of hearing friends talk about being pregnant or having babies...talking about how they were planning on having a "May baby" or an "April baby" or a "September baby" when all I wanted was a baby. Hearing someone say they could plan and pick the month their baby was going to be born made me want to punch a wall. Now, my heart aches for any of my friends struggling with infertility. I thought about all those friends in Hy-Vee. From Oreos...to Jani...to fertility (or lack thereof). Crazy where your thoughts can lead you...and I started to tear up.

Then Doug looked at me and said, "Don't cry...you don't want your milk to letdown in Hy-Vee!"

Thanks for bringing me down from the wall, baby...love you :)