Halloween Oreos

Photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/mariecannabis/67089754/

Tonight at Hy-Vee, while out trying to get last minute groceries for the week, I saw a display of Halloween Oreos. Typically, seeing this would give me an instant craving for Oreos and milk and I would undoubtedly purchase a package and devour them with Doug. Tonight, I did not purchase but a wave of emotions came over me. Halloween Oreos now remind me of Jani. They remind me of being pregnant, of eating them with a glass of milk just to get her to go crazy in my tummy and kick me...to reassure me she was doing just fine in there. Thinking of this reminded me of where we were two years ago, undergoing fertility tests to figure out what the heck was going on with me. It reminded me of hearing friends talk about being pregnant or having babies...talking about how they were planning on having a "May baby" or an "April baby" or a "September baby" when all I wanted was a baby. Hearing someone say they could plan and pick the month their baby was going to be born made me want to punch a wall. Now, my heart aches for any of my friends struggling with infertility. I thought about all those friends in Hy-Vee. From Oreos...to Jani...to fertility (or lack thereof). Crazy where your thoughts can lead you...and I started to tear up.

Then Doug looked at me and said, "Don't cry...you don't want your milk to letdown in Hy-Vee!"

Thanks for bringing me down from the wall, baby...love you :)

A Favorite Pasttime

Football season is upon us. You can definitely feel it in the air. That crispness that symbolizes my favorite season of all. Football has meant a lot to me over the years but that meaning has grown and developed as much as I have.

When I was young, football meant friends. It meant running around under the lights of a field on the west side of town...hiding between cars, buying taffy at the concession stand, listening to the marching band, and watching my sisters cheerlead. As I grew, I turned into the one marching in the band and cheerleading on the sidelines. I started to learn the ins and outs of football and looked forward to Friday nights.

In college, I ended up dating a football player and learned more about the game than I ever thought possible. Saturdays became a day of anticipation and anxiety, cheering on my Panthers and hoping Doug stayed healthy. Football caused me stress, stole my boy away from me a LOT, and gave me joy at the same time.

Now, with Doug as a coach, we're back to Friday nights. It's much different watching high school football in a dome (and I don't like it). Football still causes me stress (a loss means an unhappy husband for the weekend) and it still steals my boy away from me a LOT.

But it also still gives me joy. Football is a love that Doug and I share...one we hope to pass on to Jani. After this weekend, I think she's well on her way!

The Belle of the Ball

Going to the football games on Friday nights is a highlight of our week. So I want Jani to go in style. What will the little diva be wearing this Friday, you might wonder?

Baby in a Hotel??

No problem!!! Just get a little creative :) Heck, it even made her feel like she was sleeping under the stars!

Our First "Getaway"

This weekend, two of our dear friends tied the knot. Jani stayed at my mom and dad's for the very first time. It was the first time I'd ever spent a night away from her. Doug has had to spend nights away but I have never not woken up with her. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. But...it was a success! We had a great time and Jani loved her time with Gma and Gpa! She was an angel, of course. The wedding was absolutely gorgeous and it was so much fun to get to be with friends. This summer has been one of a lot of changes for Doug and I. We have lost friends, made new ones, and tried to adjust to a (social) life with a baby. Through it all, Linds and B have been there for us and I am forever grateful. We can't wait to spend the fall with them....football season is upon us!!

10 Months

Yes...10 months! That is two months away from 1 year! I can now say that next month my baby turns one. Makes me tear up just writing it. Jani seriously brings us joy every day. The girl is hilarious and is such an easygoing baby. She is a scooting maniac and can get anywhere just as fast as if she was crawling. She is pulling herself up and loves to play peek-a-boo. Waving bye bye and hello is a favorite activity and so is blowing kisses. She's such a little flirt. Mama and Dada are staples in her vocabulary and she is really good at imitating the first sound of other things. She signs "more" and sometimes "all done". She lights up when she's see me, Doug, Grandma J, and Uncle John. All of us pick her up from daycare and our daycare lady said she loves when her other "people" pick her up. It's so cliche to say it's flying by, but it is. She sleeps all night (which is nothing new), eats EVERYTHING, and giggles all the time. As summer is coming to a close, and fall is upon us, I am reminded of last year when I was enjoying those last few weeks with her in my belly. Fall is my favorite season and I am so excited to share it with Jani. I can't wait to visit a pumpkin farm, rake leaves, make smores, and attend many football games. There just might be a CF Tiger tutu in our future....just maybe :)